🌿 Upekkhā Talk (20 minutes, with timing cues)

Ordinariness, Generosity, and the Wide Sky of the Heart

0:00–1:00 — Settling

Let’s settle in. Just us. Just this room. Just this moment. Nothing to achieve. Nothing to fix. Which, honestly, is already a relief.

1:00–2:30 — Introducing Upekkhā

Tonight we’re exploring upekkhā, the tenth pāramī — usually translated as equanimity. But “equanimity” can sound like something you’d order off a Victorian apothecary shelf. Upekkhā is much simpler. Much more human. It’s the capacity to stay steady in the middle of a life that refuses to stay still.

And I want to start by saying this: upekkhā is profoundly ordinary. It’s not a mountaintop attainment. It’s not a spiritual poker face. It’s the moment you realize you don’t have to correct the universe before breakfast.

2:30–4:00 — Generosity as Non‑Interference

It’s the generosity — the dāna — of letting life be life.

We usually think of generosity as giving things away. But the deepest generosity is the generosity of non‑interference. The generosity of not tightening around every sensation, every opinion, every wind that blows through the mind. The generosity of not demanding that the world arrange itself around our preferences.

4:00–6:00 — The Eight Worldly Winds (Lokavipatti Sutta)

And the Buddha, in his very practical way, named the winds that blow us around. In the Lokavipatti Sutta, AN 8.6, he lists the Eight Worldly Conditions — the weather patterns of being human.

Lokavipatti Sutta (AN 8.6) The Discourse on the Eight Worldly Conditions

“Gain and loss, fame and disgrace, blame and praise, and pleasure and pain. These qualities among mankind are impermanent, transient, and perishable. An intelligent and mindful person knows these things, seeing that they’re perishable. Desirable things don’t disturb their mind, nor are they repelled by the undesirable. Both favoring and opposing are cleared and disappeared, they are no more. Knowing the stainless, sorrowless state, they who have gone beyond rebirth understand rightly.”

It’s all there. The whole human curriculum.

And the Buddha says: They’re impermanent. They’re perishable. They’re not personal. They’re just the weather.

Upekkhā is the moment we stop trying to negotiate with the weather.

6:00–7:30 — Ordinariness as Doorway

And this is where ordinariness becomes a doorway. Because the winds don’t blow only during dramatic moments. They blow when the email comes in. When the text is left on read. When the body does something creaky and uncooperative. When someone praises us and we pretend to be humble but inside we’re like, “Yes, correct.”

7:30–8:30 — Ryōkan Haiku

This is why I love the little Ryōkan haiku:

“The thief left it behind: the moon at my window.”

Everything can be taken — except the sky. Except awareness. Except the capacity to meet the moment with a steady heart.

8:30–10:00 — Introducing Mary Oliver

And that brings me to Mary Oliver, who had a gift for naming the human condition without scolding it. She has a poem that is so perfect for upekkhā — so ordinary, so human, so gently self‑aware — that I want to offer it to you in full.

10:00–11:30 — You read the full poem “I Worried” aloud

(This takes about 60–90 seconds depending on pacing.)

Selected Content from I Worried - Mary Oliver - Words of Wonder - Mindfulness Association

Source: https://www.mindfulnessassociation.net/words-of-wonder/i-worried-mary-oliver/?srsltid=AfmBOopPCxxEWM2ef6qDMRSXTnXeHDHWURgR72Mwbu4c7IPxt7BOIZOh

I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers
flow in the right direction, will the earth turn
as it was taught, and if not how shall
I correct it?

Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,
can I do better?

Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows
can do it and I am, well,
hopeless.

Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,
am I going to get rheumatism,
lockjaw, dementia?

Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And I gave it up. And took my old body
and went out into the morning,
and sang.

by Mary Oliver

11:30–12:30 — Reflection on the Poem

She starts in that familiar place — the mind trying to manage the entire cosmos. And then she reaches that turning point:

“Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing. And I gave it up.”

She says she took her old body out into the morning and sang.

That’s upekkhā.

12:30–15:00 — 🚲 Your Cycling Story

And I’ve had moments like that — not dramatic, not mystical, just real.

Years ago, on a long-distance bike tour, I found myself between two towns. Too far from the one behind me to turn back. Still far from the one ahead. Tired. A little achy. Hungry in that way where you start negotiating with the universe about sandwiches.

And there’s this moment on a bike tour where you realize: Well… this is it. There’s no shortcut. No rescue. No clever workaround. You just keep going — one foot in front of the other as you pedal.

And something softens. You stop arguing with the distance. You stop wishing the hill were flatter or the wind were kinder. You stop trying to correct the universe.

You might as well enjoy the day. Enjoy what’s present. The road. The sky. The rhythm of your own breath. Even while acknowledging, “Yep, I’m tired. Yep, this is a little uncomfortable.”

But the easiest way forward is simply to accept: This is how it is.

And once you do that, the whole ride changes.

That shift — that softening — is upekkhā.

15:00–17:00 — Returning to the Teaching

And notice: neither Mary Oliver nor the bike ride required the winds to stop blowing. They just stopped gripping them. They gave up the project of managing reality. And in that giving up — that generosity — something opened.

This is the heart of upekkhā: the world keeps moving, and the heart stays kind.

Not numb. Not distant. Kind.

Upekkhā is what allows mettā, karuṇā, and muditā to stay alive without burning us out. It’s the wide sky that holds all the weather.

17:00–19:00 — The Secret You Already Know

And here’s the secret: You already know how to do this. You’ve done it a thousand times.

Every time you’ve taken a breath instead of reacting. Every time you’ve let someone else have the last word because it wasn’t worth the storm. Every time you’ve stepped outside, like Mary Oliver, and realized the morning was waiting for you. Every time you’ve pedaled the next mile because turning back wasn’t an option.

Upekkhā is not the end of feeling. It’s the end of being pushed around by feeling.

It’s the generosity of letting the winds blow without taking them as a verdict on who you are.

19:00–20:00 — Transition to Meditation

So tonight, as we move into practice, we’re not trying to manufacture equanimity. We’re just remembering it. We’re remembering the wide sky. We’re remembering the moon that can’t be stolen. We’re remembering that the world will blow — and the heart doesn’t have to.

Let’s practice.

Selected Content from Microsoft Copilot: Your AI companion

Source: https://copilot.microsoft.com/chats/D4pTEeGM2g3j6Li8nr6U2

🌙 20‑Minute Upekkhā Meditation

Ordinary, steady, generous, ending in mettā

0:00–1:00 — Arriving

Find a posture that feels honest. Upright enough to be awake, relaxed enough to be human. Let the breath come and go without management. Let the body be held by the earth.

A moment of arrival. Just this.

1:00–3:00 — Settling into the Body

Feel the weight of your body. The contact points. The temperature of the air on your skin. The simple fact of being here.

No need to correct anything. No need to improve the moment. Let the body breathe itself.

3:00–5:00 — Ordinary Awareness

Let your attention widen a little. Sensation, sound, breath, mood — all part of the same field.

If something is pleasant, let it be pleasant. If something is unpleasant, let it be unpleasant. If something is neutral, let it be neutral.

This is how it is.

5:00–7:00 — Introducing Equanimity

Begin to notice the small winds that blow through experience. A thought. A feeling. A memory. A hope. A worry.

They rise. They pass. They’re just the weather.

You don’t have to negotiate with the weather.

7:00–9:00 — Phrases of Upekkhā

Gently offer a phrase or two, in rhythm with the breath:

Let the phrases be soft. Not instructions — invitations.

9:00–11:00 — The Cycling Image

If it helps, imagine yourself on that long road between two towns. Too far to turn back. Not yet at the destination. Just pedaling.

One foot, then the other. Breath, then breath. Nothing to fix. Nothing to fight.

You might as well enjoy the day. The sky. The rhythm. Even the tiredness.

This is how it is.

11:00–13:00 — The Wide Sky

Let awareness widen even more. Like a sky that holds all weather.

Thoughts are clouds. Sensations are wind. Emotions are passing storms.

The sky doesn’t cling to any of it. The sky doesn’t push any of it away.

Let the mind be sky-like. Let the weather move through.

13:00–15:00 — Returning to the Body

Come back to the body breathing. The rise and fall. The steadiness of the spine. The weight of the hands.

Right here is enough. Right here is the practice.

15:00–17:00 — Opening to Others

Bring to mind someone neutral or mildly pleasant. No need to choose carefully — just someone who comes easily.

See if you can sense their life unfolding. Their joys. Their sorrows. Their own winds blowing.

Offer a simple phrase:

Let it be light. Unforced.

17:00–19:00 — A Touch of Mettā

Now widen the field again. To the people in this room. This city. This island. This world.

No need to feel anything special. Just a gentle intention:

Let the phrases float out like breath on a cool morning.

19:00–20:00 — Closing

Return to your own body. Your own breath. Your own presence.

A final, simple note of mettā:

When you’re ready, let the eyes open. Let the world back in. The winds will blow — and you can meet them.

Selected Content from Microsoft Copilot: Your AI companion

Source: https://copilot.microsoft.com/chats/D4pTEeGM2g3j6Li8nr6U2

🌿 Outline: 20‑Minute Upekkhā Talk

Ordinariness, Generosity, and the Wide Sky of the Heart

0:00–1:00 — Arrival

1:00–2:30 — Introducing Upekkhā

2:30–4:00 — Generosity as Non‑Interference

4:00–6:00 — The Eight Worldly Winds (Lokavipatti Sutta, AN 8.6)

6:00–7:30 — Ordinariness as Doorway

7:30–8:30 — Ryōkan Haiku

8:30–10:00 — Mary Oliver Setup

10:00–11:30 — Reflection on the Poem

11:30–15:00 — 🚲 Personal Cycling Story

15:00–17:00 — Returning to the Teaching

17:00–19:00 — You Already Know This

19:00–20:00 — Transition to Meditation

Selected Content from Microsoft Copilot: Your AI companion

Source: https://copilot.microsoft.com/chats/D4pTEeGM2g3j6Li8nr6U2

🌙 Outline: 20‑Minute Upekkhā Meditation

Ordinary steadiness, gentle phrases, ending with mettā

0:00–1:00 — Arriving

1:00–3:00 — Settling into the Body

3:00–5:00 — Ordinary Awareness

5:00–7:00 — Introducing Equanimity

7:00–9:00 — Upekkhā Phrases

Offer softly, in rhythm with breath:

Let them repeat silently.

9:00–11:00 — Cycling Image

11:00–13:00 — The Wide Sky

13:00–15:00 — Returning to the Body

15:00–17:00 — Opening to Others

17:00–19:00 — Light Touch of Mettā

19:00–20:00 — Closing